this year, i’ve had a heavy heart as i’ve thought about NIAW (National Infertility Awareness Week). almost like i don’t fit into the 1 in 8 group anymore because i have my baby. but today, as i sat here thinking about her and infertility and our journey, i realized that she is my story.
berkeley is our little beacon of light. she’s our hope. she’s the answer to so many prayers. she’s our miracle. she’s the whole reason we went through every treatment, every needle and every moment of our infertility journey.
and that’s what NIAW is all about. seeking for miracles. raising awareness that people WANT to grow their families. that sometimes it isn’t easy to get pregnant or sustain a pregnancy. but that no matter the fight or battle placed in front of us, we’re going to try.
we’re going to hang onto hope when hope is the only thing left. we’re going to pray for miracles and do everything in our power to bring our babies into our families. whether that’s through IUI, IVF, foster care, adoption or even moving forward childless, we’re going to do whatever we can for as long as we can.
i feel so lucky and grateful to have berkeley with us this year. but having her here doesn’t erase the pain and struggle we had trying to get her here. i read through my instagram posts about infertility last night and just cried because it was so hard. reading through those experiences and remembering the despair, anger, bitterness, loss of faith, loss of hope and just feeling so numb— it all came back. and it hurt.
but something that was really cool to see was how my perspective shifted. it wasn’t quickly. it was slow, but slowly, my perspective shifted. i began feeling hopeful again and i tried my best to enjoy myself through our waiting phase.
and now, that’s my whole goal in life. to enjoy this time that we worked so dang hard for. there are still hard moments. i learn something (or 40 somethings) every single day. that’s life though. there are always hard things. but amidst the hard, we can have hope. we can find hope in the stories of others. and we can lean on one another for support and love when we’re feeling down.