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It’s crazy to think that it’s time again for another pregnancy update! I feel like I JUST posted our first (and also huge) update about the first 16 weeks of pregnancy, so the fact that another month has already gone by is just crazy to me! We’re currently in month FIVE of pregnancy, which means we only have four months to go and we hit the halfway mark, so we’re really on the downward spiral towards Baby Banks! This is insane. But we are so, so excited! We haven’t been great at taking weekly bump pictures (TBH, i haven’t really had much of a bump so far, but it’s coming in strong these days, so we are trying to be more consistent with that! We still need to take our 20 week picture, but the week isn’t over, so we’ve got some time. she tells herself every single week…)

Today, as I was sitting in my doctor’s office having a routine blood draw, another couple walked into the room. I saw the look on their faces and I knew it. The fear. The reality sinking in. The unknown. The worry. The stress. The tiny glimmer of hope, but not too much because nothing else has worked in the past. I knew it because we had been there, in those same shoes, with the same worries, stresses, heartaches, and cautious hopes. As soon as I saw the looks on their faces, there was so much I wanted to say to help them. But as it goes, we were like cars passing one another on the freeway. (I was going to make a “like ships in the night” reference, but then I realized that I’ve never really experienced that) Both headed in our own direction, but ultimately with the same goal: bringing home a baby. This letter is to them. This letter is to you.

RELATED: An Open Letter to Friends & Family Asking When We Are Going to Have Babies

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Hey Friends,

I want you to know how proud I am of you. Whether this is your first visit, first round of treatments, first blood draw for answers— I’m proud of you. You’re showing a huge amount of faith, hope, trust, courage, strength and humility right now by asking for help and taking the necessary steps to bring home your baby— even if it means doing really scary or uncomfortable things. You’re stepping into a new world of unknown things that will soon become routine (cough “routine blood draw” cough) and strangely enough, kind of normal. And for that, I applaud you with a standing ovation. I don’t know how long it took for you to call and make that appointment, but the fact that you did that means something.

It means that you’re facing your reality instead of pretending it isn’t happening to you.
It means you’ve recognized that something isn’t right and you’re advocating for yourself.
It means you want to find answers even if the answers aren’t ideal.
It means you’re making plans and efforts to change your situation.

Those aren’t small things. Those are big steps to getting closer to bringing home your babies— in whatever way they may come.

RELATED: I Thank Thee That Thou Hast Heard Me

Unfortunately, infertility treatments aren’t 100% effective all the time, every time. They don’t guarantee that your journey ends here. It may take multiple months, even more years of trying. It may require different procedures, protocols, medications and even clinics. But you can do it. The medications have side effects, sure, but it’s not anything you can’t handle. You are stronger than you realize. You can do this.

I want you to remember that you are brave. That you are strong and that it’s okay to dream and have hope during this time. I remember what it feels like to lose hope. I remember when reality wasn’t ideal but dreaming was too painful. Friend, you’ll get through those moments. And in between those moments, life is still beautiful.

RELATED: Accepting Reality While Allowing Yourself to Dream During Infertility

I hope you know you’re not alone. There is an incredible community of couples enduring infertility together. We’re here for you to ask questions, to cry with and to cheer each other on.

As you navigate this journey, I want you to know that it’s okay to open up about your journey, but it’s also okay to keep things private. You can do both. And the most important part: you get to decide what you do and do not share with others. There are incredible resources available for you to write out your journey, your experiences and your emotions. These resources were created specifically for you.

RELATED: How the Good Grief Journal Changed My Infertility Experience

I hope that as you walk into your next appointment, you know that you have a friend cheering you on. I’m hoping for you, sending you all of the good vibes & sending you all of the baby dust I can muster! You’ve got this, friends!

xoxo,
Sadie

It's no secret that I created the Good Grief Journal nor that Good Grief has changed my life. But I haven't ever really expounded on HOW Good Grief changed my life. If you're new here or just don't remember, Good Grief came to be because I had SEARCHED for something to help me cope for over a year and after being unsuccessful in finding anything I made the decision to create what I needed.

we decided early on in our journey that we would only share things when we felt ready and at our own time. so some of the answers that we’ve given to questions over the last few weeks have been… well, mostly half truths. and mostly not the full truth. and honestly, i don’t really feel bad about that simply because IVF/infertility is a very personal thing. that being said, we feel ready to give a big update!

for the last few days i’ve been feeling pretty meh about all things creative. i’ve lacked inspiration and motivation to create things. but today i decided to just try to be a little more creative than i was yesterday (which wasn’t hard because i had a migraine yesterday that knocked me out for most of the day) and i feel like i was successful! i worked on these pictures of myself— which doesn’t seem that exciting, but actually, it’s way exciting. that wall was white when i started editing today. so that’s fun.