for starters, this isn't a post to brag or anything, this has just really helped parker and i in our relationship and we felt like it could help others, so we decided to share it with everyone!
let's get real. couples argue. even the best couples have disagreements. when you start a relationship, there's this phase tenderly known as "the honeymoon phase" where everything is happy because you try your best to hide your weaknesses and faults. but then after a little bit, you start to get comfortable in the relationship and it becomes easier to speak your mind-- even when you should follow thumper's advice, "when ya can't say nothin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." and arguments, disagreements or "discussions" begin. and sometimes you feel like it's ALL over because you're so upset you don't want to accept an apology OR you feel like you've done something so wrong that they will never accept your apology.
right before parker and i started "officially" dating, we were talking about how we would want things to be in our relationship to make it the best for the both of us. we had decided that we wanted to date and if it didn't work out to the point of marriage, we still wanted to come away from our relationship together as better people. luckily for me, it DID work out to the point of marriage and i feel like this is a big reason why: we decided in that early conversation that any time we started to argue, disagree, or "discuss" things that we would hold hands through the entirety of the conversation. we both felt that it would be impossible to stay mad at one another if we were holding hands. and we wouldn't be able to storm away or end the night upset.
and guess what. so far it has worked like a charm.
it is the ultimate act of love when i know that parker is upset at me and he reaches for my hand because he wants the tough moment to pass. and vice versa.
i'll be ten thousand percent honest when i say that there have been times that i have wished at some point or another that we didn't make that "rule" up so i can hold a grudge or stew over something. because we both know that as soon as i reach for his hand, the wall i've built will begin to break down.
love isn't something that just happens. it's a lifetime job that takes a lot of work. it's a choice. it's a sacrifice at times. but it is so worth it.
i never would have imagined the power of holding hands before parker and i started doing this, but i am so grateful that it has had this effect on our relationship.