Since announcing that we would be doing IVF in 2019, I’ve received a few questions about how we came to the decision to do IVF. Before going too much further, our plan was always to do IVF at some point. our doctors recommended timed intercourse and IUI first, so we did those as more of checklist steps to get to IVF.
In 2018, we didn’t do very many treatments. we did one cycle of Timed Intercourse (this type of cycle is medicated and my body is monitored by doctors) and one cycle of IUI. After our failed IUI, another treatment t didn’t feel right. So we took a break from treatments for about 6 or 7 months. Before taking a break I didn’t realize how much I needed that break. My mental health was not in a good state and so stepping away from treatments was what we felt was best for our family.
Around October of 2018, we started to feel the push to do more treatments. I knew that I didn’t want to do treatments over the holidays because, well, the holidays are hard enough as it is. So we decided that we would start treatments again in 2019. We discussed our options: Timed Intercourse, IUI, IVF or Adoption.
Timed Intercourse: If I’m being completely honest, we think timed intercourse is a waste of time and money. Sure, you’re given medication to help your body and your doctor monitors the growth of your follicles and gives you specific days to try, but we basically tried that for 16 months on our own and that never worked so... yeah, we have no faith in that. (🤷♀️)
IUI: Our [personal as in the plan we made for ourselves] infertility treatment plan only included 3 rounds of IUI. Again, we didn’t have much faith in IUI. We had some hope because it was a little bit more effort than TI, but I didn’t have much faith in my body to actually do what it’s supposed to. And also, for other personal reasons, we decided to put a limit on how many IUIs we would do before moving on. This limit gave us a very specific timeline of when we would need to stop and save money but also a time when we would need to bite the bullet and move forward. We didn’t want to get stuck in a rut trying the same thing over and over again. (That, my friends, is the definition of insanity)
IVF: To be completely honest, IVF scares me. I haaaaate needles and surgery terrifies me. BUT I’ve seen firsthand that IVF can be successful. I have faith and hope in the IVF process. And like I said before, IVF was always in our game plan. It was just a matter of when rather than if.
Adoption: We seriously considered adoption for about 4 months (like September - December-ish). We were making plans to begin saving for adoption and to get our home study completed. I researched agencies and consultants and I found a few that I felt were good options. But we would need to save a looot of dollars for adoption, so that’s kind of what our plan was at the tail-end of 2018.
(For people who may ask: we’ve also considered Foster Care, but we both feel that the time is not right for Foster Care for our family. But we would love to be able to foster in the future.)
So there we were. Hoping on IVF and for adoption just wondering when it would be time and our turn. We (I think more just me than Parker) planned on trying to do both— maybe not in 2019, but at some point. I just wanted a baby. So we started to go into save mode. We started budgeting and working towards paying off debt. We would put a tiny bit of our income into our baby fund each month, but not anywhere close enough to get us close to what we needed. We were kind of going through the motions, but not really. IVF and adoption both just felt like far away options that we would get to in the future. We were praying to know which direction to go and when the right time was for us.
And then one night, out of the blue, we got a call from our fertility clinic. My phone rang and it was a number that wasn’t saved in my phone so I didn’t answer it. I looked at it again and realized that it was our fertility clinic and went to call them back when they called again. I answered and the girl on the phone told me that there was an IVF clinical trial coming up and that my charts looked like we would qualify for the study. She asked if we were interested and I immediately said yes. She asked me a bunch of questions (poor Parker was so confused as to why I was so excited and answering a billion questions). The girl put me on hold for a minute and I explained to Parker what the call was about. We both felt like this was the step we were supposed to take. And now, here we are. On our IVF journey.
So I guess short answer to a broad question: we gave ourselves limits to treatments (and we knew what we were willing to do. IVF isn’t for everyone. Adoption isn’t for everyone. So if you’re not sure what your limit is, I’d recommend sitting down together and really hashing that out.), we took a long break to clear our minds and actually enjoy this season of life, and then we moved forward when we felt God had given us an answer.
If you’re trying to decide on what to do next, I recommend taking a break and praying for direction. If your relationship with God is waning or has suffered during your treatments, I get it. I’ve been there. I was there for a long time. (Sometimes I feel like I’m still there) But repairing that relationship and seeking His direction was one of the best things I did in 2018. That’s when the tender mercies started happening. And that’s when hope came back into my life.
To help us raise money for IVF, we are doing a Mini Photo Session IVF Fundraiser! We are so grateful for every person who has signed up for a Mini Session already! If you’re interested in signing up for a Mini Session, here’s the information you’ll need to know!
MINI PHOTO SESSION IVF FUNDRAISER
MOMMY & ME MINI SESSIONS - $125
friday, january 25, 2019
30-40 edited images
Location: Saratoga Springs, UT*
STUDIO FAMILY MINI SESSIONS - $125
saturday, january 26, 2019
30-40 edited images
Location: Saratoga Springs, UT*
All of the profits from these mini sessions will go straight to our Infertility Fund.
*Address will be given after booking your session
We are so, so, so grateful for all of your support and love over the last three years. We would not have made it this far without you. To book a Mini Session, email firstname.lastname@example.org, send us a message on Facebook or Instagram, or send either of us a text message! We can’t wait to see you at your Mini Session!