Many of you may remember this post when I got to go to the Cure Search Walk a few weeks ago.
For some reason, I have been privileged to be surrounded by many wonderful warriors fighting their individual battles with cancer. And as I have been surrounded by these amazing people, I have also been surrounded by those who have had a dear family member, friend, acquaintance pass on from the cancer. And I have heard this unfortunate phrase multiple times: "this is in remembrance of those who lost their battle."
Those who lost their battle?
I hate that phrase.
Why do I hate that phrase?
Because it is ABSOLUTELY NOT true. In ANY way.
I hate it because those people did not lose their battle. They were just called to be in a different army-- Special Forces, probably. Sometimes that happens when you're awesome. Level up.
I hate it because they fought with EVERYTHING they had-- including their life. Do you fight like that? In terms of ANY other fight or battle, fighting with everything you have ALWAYS concludes to winning-- at least in my book it does.
I hate it because no matter how hard they fight, they still have that dumb cancer haunting them all the time-- even in remission. The battle they control and fight is a battle of attitude and choice. I personally cannot even begin to imagine the pain and sickness they go through. But every fighter I have ever met has had the best attitude. That's a winner for sure.
I hate it because losers don't change peoples' lives for the better. These cute kids that I've had the privilege of meeting, if only for a moment, changed my life because of who they are; the strength they have; the smile on their faces; everything. Losers don't do that.
I hate it because because we forget losers. They're not losers. They will not be forgotten. They are forever in our hearts. We love them.
If we say those dear people with cancer "lost" their battle because they passed on then guess what-- WE'RE ALL LOSERS. We all pass away. Dying is a part of life. We can't control that. But something I've learned is that for those with physical implications dying is liberating. Dying is freedom. And, even though we don't like to hear any of these words associated with death, dying is an escape mechanism that our Heavenly Father gave to us in order to be able to go back to His presence, in order to truly be at peace.
For now, think outside yourself. Imagine being in the physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, social, etc., etc, pain of those with an illness such as cancer. All. The. Time. Think of what an amazing experience it must be for them to not feel the every day pains of life.
And now remember that death is not the end. And we are not on our time table. If we were, no one would EVER die. There is purpose in passing.
Let's remember that those who pass on from a battle are NOT losers.
They are winners. We'll see them again.
|Ethan Mendenhall. He's such a champion.|
|Ellie. She's a fighter.|
My hope for this post isn't to make anyone feel bad for using the phrase "they lost their battle" but to help us all remember that the things we say affect those we speak to. Saying things such as that must hurt the family members of those who have passed on-- especially after watching them fight for their life. I can only imagine. Let's strive to be more careful and loving in the things we say.
Those that have passed on are still in our hearts. We love them and miss them. They are never forgotten.